I feel like my whole world has been torn apart. This is just crap. I knew when I looked at my Math score at the SAT score that I was doomed.

The first piece to my future shows me that I'm nowhere. I can't go anywhere.

Head

Really thankful for math remedials.
My revision has been sporadic and due to my excessive sickness and badly planned dieting, I'm suffering from drowsiness and restlessness and headaches.
I've decided to go back to a three meal diet. Honestly: skipping breakfast is just plain stupid.
So I shall consume and yogurt and berries properly tomorrow.

On a brighter note, I can breathe through my nose and smell. My cough really is not life-threatening anymore.

But my ears are still one-deaf.

ANW. Revision. Oh yes. I'm convinced that I've done all I can for TSD (lol by reading one book)??
I'm going to rush the GP package at the end if the holidays. GP untouched.
Been practicing my tutorials for math but I've no idea how to correct them because nobody actually had given me the answers even after I ask then for more than 3 times. Kindly. Just because I was absent-.-
But yeah. I strangely remember some if the CT1 topics and I finished with statistics nonsense today. This means I'm left with vectors. (Which are like the big bad witches of math H2)

Trying to stay optimistic and finish math revision by tomorrow and half of chemistry by tomorrow.

Hopefully the presence if Gilda will be good.

I wish I could exercise. The lack of exercise is making me lethargic and floppy.-.-

Maybe I should go run tomorrow and then bathe in school haha.

I just hope I will ace math and chem and GP this time. I really deserve this after all the battles with my failing nose and throat. Not to mention my over-familiarization with remedial packages.

That was sacrifice alright. Lol.

I've no idea how Mr.B is going to even mark TSD...since we hasn't had practicals done for CT2...lol. So I'm just aiming to get my decent C/B that should be getting like pre-dikoff-leaving. And biology....

Well lets just say... I just want to understand the subject for now. Seriously.

I wish I had been healthier. I wish I never went for the work attaxhment. But no.

Life is unfair and it made me get bad time for CT2 revision.

Don't blame me. Blame fate. Blame poor singapore system of cramming activities into one month of "holidays".

Here's to better days.

And in the end everybody just abandoned me -.-

Monday

Yesterday, I went out to mug and finished writing my version of The TSD group piece script, reading a sicko TSD love games play, complex numbers 1 notes and some organic chem questions and marking. Immensely proud considering the fact that I'm still sick and I can only survive on room temperature yogurt or tea or apparently hot pancakes.... Heheh. The haze is super bad seriously.:(

I can't breathe properly now too. Oh god :(

So after mugging and sitting in the same rotten place for 6+++ hours I decided to take Gilda to strictly pancakes and enlighten her about the alfresco gourmet pancakes. We ate a savory one and a sweet one. The savory pancake was called chicken king or someth. Super yummy. Best savory pancake I've ever eaten. It's like this asparagus and herbs flavored thing with super awesome sauce, and they give you flavored butters and of course we got Garlic and herbs!:) and the chicken was super great! Definitely worth the money!!!!

And the next one was Blackforest with chocolate drizzles and chocolate sauce over chocolate pancakes and vanilla ice cream. They also had brandy dipped cherries and it was so damn yummy. Loved it!

I thought the food would be super expensive but it was quite cheap. The GST and all that extra stuff was also like $3 only. Didn't eat a big breakfast or lunch and yet this was just so filling! I deffo rec anybody to go for lunch! No need to eat dinner! Lol. Pig mode on. Oinkz.

And yeah I searched for TSD summary but all notes online need membership or money and blah. Goooooshz how to study in this way-.-

I should go rip up a guide book online :/

Pains of a drama student.

Anyways. Check out Love for Love if you have time people. It's like boring but the ending is epic and funny.:)

Excited

ENT

Oh and as for my health. Guess what. Now my eyes are producing excessive eyeshit and it's hazy and I still can't hear from both of my ears and my nose is still fat with snot and my throat is phlegm filled and I think I'm going to die soon. Ear drops nose drops eye drops. FML.:/

Baby bro

I know I sound creepy but due to the advancement of technology, I tend to creep on people a lot. I.e stalk them on social media. I mean c'mon peep. I know everyone does it but still it sounds a tad but creepy to own up. Lol.

So I was creeping on my brother (I know. I know. I sound weird. But hey, we don't talk much. And I really miss my baby brother. *sad face*). And I found out that he's actually a lot like me :) heheh.

And his Facebook profile picture has 30 likes. Obviously he's popular with the girls. Hmm. Haha. Jkjk. But yeah. And he pretty much has cool music taste and he is quite hip. Lol. And he did an adorable note on the kinda girl he wanted and LOLOL. It was like full of innocence and child like awe. I can't even imagine him as an adolescent. Ok maybe I'm just overprotective. But yeah he's still a kid to me. Lol.

And yeah. Pretty much it. I wish we were closer. It would have been so much easier to be in e house. And it would have been so much more fun to talk to him. Teenagers and all. I miss playing UNO and watching the Walking Dead with him :(

And dude has a really impressive portfolio. Math Olympiad top-shot award, programming head of his tech club, awards for tech competitions, topping his level and breaking his school record, impressive grades all the time...

I'm so proud of him I don't even know what to say. Wish I could say I've been a great role model but I don't know. I'm not that smart or anything that's good. He's the one full of light and brains. I wish everyone knew this. I wish I could be his best friend. :/

Oh well I can only dream. Haha.

Ok this was a sporadic post. Oops. I'm so random sorry.

:(

I miss you. Terribly :( my heart lurches.

It's a strange thought to say at such an odd hour but kindness is seriously the purest form of human connection. I was just doing my general reading and something I came across made me tear up and realise that I people who left their footprints on my heart are those who were sincerely kind with smiles that crinkled with care. You just know.

It's like Infectuous. Or maybe not. Idk.my theory is that it is Infectuous. Haha.

Wednesday happiness

Learnt some good stuff yesterday at the hospital. Went to the isolation ward an the nurses and etc were doing a simulation run of what to do if a case of The new virus (H7 someth) were to be admitted. Quite cool I must say. And one dengue infected female wanted to be discharged even though things were looking bad for her...:/ I feel really scared for her. Sigh..

This doc revealed her HO pay per month and heh it's not that bad!:D it's actually quite good! Like "can afford rent and food" kinda good. Just that maybe we've to swear off the luxuries. Shopping...Haha.

Went to meet my darling Kiran and Jillian yesterday for lunch!:) finally after like a gazillion years! Chatted and discovered that for $7, you can get a drink, soup and a pizza at Pizza Hut (OMG RIGHT). Was super fun to catch up with them girls and I wish we could've had more time :(

Oh and I tried my first ever chamomile tea. It's delicious and super tasty!!!! It has a slight pepper mint and slight flowery taste. I love it :)

And then I didn't want to go home. My mind was reeling from the TSD book I had decided to mull upon. so took a time out and watched "NOW YOU SEE ME". It was a brilliant movie and Jesse Eisenberg was actually hot in it. Maybe it's just movie magic. Haha. (Pun intended)

And the movie made me gasp at the end because.... Well I totally did NOT see that coming. Haha. Whoever wrote the story is like amazeballs. Haha.

Flashes

Another day has past by and I thought of you again because my cousins on the phone scolded me for not introducing you to them, while they were here. They said such an important person in my life needs to be introduced. I sadly shrugged it (tho shrugs don't work over the phone right haha).

You're still pretty important. But I don't know what has indefinitely put you off of me.

Went last Buona Vista today and almost broke down in tears because of the painful pun in best fries forever shop.

I really miss you. I don't know how I can salvage this relationship.

Sometimes they say, give it time.

But how much time?

Without smell I can't enjoy anything. And I can't breathe. OMG. I seriously can't breathe. FML